


Bad day

by Cas221



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Agender, Blood, Gen, Remus Sanders - Freeform, Self-Harm, Skipping Meals, The duke - Freeform, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 19:30:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas221/pseuds/Cas221
Summary: This is a vent fic and in it Remus is agender and struggling to deal with the thoughts in their head.Tw: self-harm, blood, skipping meals





	Bad day

**Author's Note:**

> A vent fic to keep my own dam in place for a bit longer

Remus was having a bad day.

" **What do you mean you don't have a gender?"**

_I'm agender. It would make sense if you'd let me explain_

" **Gender and sex are the same thing. You're obviously a dude."**

_No I'm not_

“ **your faking it”**

_No I'm not_

" **You just want attention."**

_No I don't!_

" **You always where dramatic but this is over selling it."**

_Stop_!

" **You can't just not have a sex. Come on! Which one is it! Male or female! You've got to pick one!"**

_No_!

It was too much. All of it was. They try, they really do. To just push it in. Lock the feeling away and build a dam around It. It'll go away eventually.

But it doesn't work. Their thoughts are to loud. Everything is too _loud_.

....Maybe just one....

One cut.

How hard can it be?

They could watch the pain bleed away.

But no, what if someone saw?

Saw the _scars_?

Saw the _blood_?

The others would laugh and call them week.

No, Remus won't cut. Not today. They can find other ways to punish themselves. Ways that don't leave scars.

It's easy really, just skip a meal or two, Accidentally kick a wall, rap fabric around their arm a bit to tight, Prick themselves a few times with needles when sewing their clothes.

It's all so easy.

But it's never enough.

Not enough _pain_.

Not enough _blood_.

It's stupid really, they can't even self-harm correctly. The one time they really tried to the knife wasn't sharp enough. They sat for a long time, dragging the dull blade across their arm, leaving nothing more than a faint white line.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe they'll cut then.

It'll just be one little thing. A comment spoken in the wrong moment. Whoever says it won't even know what they've done. And by the time they do it'll be to late.

The dam will have broken.

And blood will flow.


End file.
